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| Future Olympian |
Well it’s been another exciting period. Working on the mountain in the ski resort is really fun. I work in customer services selling tickets, lessons and rentals to customers to come up to ski and snowboard. It’s a HUUUUUUGE difference from selling magazines and scratch cards I don’t mind telling yall. However similarly to the exuberant price of magazines in Ireland, a day on the slopes may also require the average Joe to remortgage their house and sell their first born children to Shrek Forever After star Rumpelstilskin, to enjoy the pleasure.
Hah not really, I’m totally fibbing about it being a much different job. Same shit, different scenery but it is an enjoyable place to work especially as we get free season passes to all the chair lifts on the mountain (which includes the ones in the Turoa Ski Area where I work and also to the Whakapapa Ski Area on the other side of the mountain which is also owned by the same company). Staff members also get free lessons as part of their employment package so fingers crossed; I’m hoping that I’ll be good enough to represent Ireland in the next Winter Olympics (2014 Sochi, Russia). So far I’ve had one beginner lesson but things are looking promising as I only fell over a few (several hundred) times and even though I have taken a few lemsips recently for a cold I’ve since recovered from; I’m sure that I’ll have all that paracetemol and vitamin C out of my system before then and will secure the ever elusive pass status on the drug test which seems to elude sooo many Irish Olympians and their horses too.
My instructor for the lesson told me that I was a natural at the plough/triange/pizza and so moved after the first ten minutes of the lesson to harder things. This wasn’t the best idea however as when it came to learning how to turn while also managing not to speed up and fallvictim to that most unmerciful law of physics, GAVITY and landing on my ass proved troublesome. My performance at this task could only be described as Unstunning. She said at the beginning of the lesson that she has been going from winter to winter around the world for about 5 full years and really loves the snow. She probably thought I loved the snow as much as she did judging by all the time I spent lying on it having gone in for an emergency crash landing. At one stage she probably thought I was dead, as after slip and slide number 201, I decided to just lie there for a while and see what happened. She poked me with a ski pole to check I was breathing and told me to get up. Tough love! Next up I fell off the end of the kiddie’s magic carpet lift which we used to get to the top of the slope. Even though in reality the drop off the top was about 2 feet, it seemed like i was falling for an eternity and my short snow career life flashed before my eyes. Another wallop of the Ski Pole and I was up and scurrying up the hill back to the rental shack to get shot of my equiment before the task master put me for another run down the hill. I think I’ll persevere with it though and as soon as I’m out of traction for the spinal injuries sustained for all the falling, I’ll get back on the baby slopes I’ll give it another bash and go for the next step lesson. If all else fails, I’ll probably be toughened up enough to get a job as a crash test dummy. If any one wants to say prayer for me feel free.
Peace Out Kiddies
Lee
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