Episode 4: The Seven Wonders

Hows It! (NZ Slang I'm hearing meaning Howaya? or perhaps Wellll? if your from the country).  There are lots of amazing little things here that have different names than the ones back home. Some are different for places and some are products with the same logo as back home but have totally different names. Here is a list of 7 of these wonders Ive noticed thus far. 

1  - Sure deodorant is called Rexona 

2  - An OffLicence is called a Bottle Shop.

3  - Wilkinson shaving products are called Shick

4 - Pampers disposable diapers seem to be called Treasures 

5 - Heinz tinned food products are call Watties 

6 - The post office is called a Post Shop (with a successful Kiwibank attached unlike the ill fated Irish Post Bank :'( DEVASTATED!)

 and finally my absolute favorite re phrasing which I can across while reading an article recently;

7 - A charity shop is called and op shop. Which is short for opportunity shop. Ooooooweeeee. I think this is a wonderful name which is a much more interesting and whereby everything inside has the potential to be a new opportunity for someone instead of being someone else cast off. An ingenious bit of relabeling PR.

Well there ya have it folks, these are my 7 wonders of New Zealand.  Its a mad mad world and the toilets flush the other way too to boot, just like in the Simpsons. 

Slán Libh 

Lee 

Episode 3: The Times are Changing.

After a long and laborious search we finally found a new place to live. It is an apartment at the top of queen street which is the mainstreet in Auckland city (like a kiwi-grafton street) above a large computer store. Home sweet home for the foreseeable future . The balcony over looks the city and Auckland bay and to the left there is a clear view of Skytower. We visited there just the other day and saw some crazy people jumping off the top of the tower and paying for the pleasure. Are they Mad? I took some pictures of these loonies going for the plunge which I will later photoshop my head into and pretend that I have made the jump. None will be any the wiser. THE CAMERA NEVER LIES or so the common phrase from a bygone era used to regularly proclaim. The weather here is starting to get a little cooler in with daytime temperatures plummeting to a positively chilly 22 degrees. Brrrr however shall I manage? Also in recent days it has rained for the first time since arriving here. Just like being home. The really real Shortland street is just a short stroll away and is situated just off the lower end of queen street. They were filming and explosion scene there the other day for an upcoming action pact story line with all sorts of pyrotechnics and the like.* exciting stuff indeed.

The St Patrick's festival was held here over the weekend a little earlier than the actual day. Lots of Irish people walked the streets and got totally ratarsed to show the kiwis how proud we are of our national day. Not one for the excuse to drink but for the sake of the festival. The self same people will also have to get totally ratarsed again on Wednesday having had a more than successful trial run over the weekend. The official 'dignitary' here at the expense of the taxpayer was well know tax spender Mary Harney who was in town to officially represent Ireland Inc to extol her usual brand of smiling and nodding and hoping for the best. Many over the weekend tried to explain to her the wisdom of an icon of another well know yearly festival about the importance of 'Making a list, and checking it Twice', or perhaps even once, but this it seem to be either beyond her comprehension or else she didn't give a fiddlers as she did her utmost to show the locals how to enjoy Paddies day.

Well that's all the news for now. I'm on the search for a job now. Hopefully I can get one by the end of the week. Perhaps I'll return home and apply for a cabinet ministerial position which are now being vacated like a game of musical chairs ahead of the increasingly likely upcoming general election. Tee hee hee what every will happen next.

Ta ta for now kiddies

Lee

*some dramatisation of actual events may have occurred or have been totally made up 

Episode 2: The House Hunting Game

Settling into life in New Zealand and house hunting like crazy. Arrived safely after a long long long long and boring stopover day in Sydney (theres not alot to do there with the exception of the Powerhouse Museum which is the national science and industry Museum - I'm a geek, I know ). Our temporary abode is an old converted big house named Pentlands. Its not the Ritz however its not half bad either. There is Internet access an some tennis courts at the back too although I've not gone out to try as I haven't played tennis since being laziest kid in Christendom who feigned injury and sudden illness every week on PE day in 3rd class at the ripe old age of 8 to get out of doing any physically exerting activity. (God does love a trier and I tried everything to get out of doing PE.)
This Temporary abode is situated in a village on the out shirts of Auckland City named Mount Eden which could only be described as Auckland's answer to Dalkey, except the pubs are replaced with several book shops, a cake shops, bakeries and even an old style sweet shop (with the sweets stored in glass jars on wall to wall shelves and a bottle shop which is down under for off license (Oooo lala!). A smashing place indeed.
The house hunting is going well but is long and tedious. Luckily my personal assistant seems to be on top of things and seems to know what he's doing. There are a lot crazies around. For example, a mad old lush from the letting agents showed us a place the other day and then puzzled over what properties she had already shown us. Puzzled indeed as she might as we had only met her 12 hours before and she had never shown us any other properties. I think she'd definitely been sniffing the ether and so while she was filling up the rag we hoped out the window and ran off into the sunset to get away (thats her in the pic). Another was a crazy Asian chick who tried to rent us a dog-box for the grand total price of a kidney a month and the souls of our first born children. I told her we'd think about and not to call us, we'd call her. :D and she never heard from us every again.
Well that's all for now. I'm off out to flounce about in the sunny sunny weather and continue the search. Hope y'all are having fun and enjoying the lovely weather a miss y'all lots (where did i put that bottle of crocodile tears)  xx

 Ta ta for now kiddies

Lee.

P.s I have a new NZ phone number if anyone wants it, drop me a line and let me know.